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What is Oral Sex?

Oral sex relates to anything done with the mouth from:

  • deep kissing
  • continuous kissing all over the body and the genitals
  • fellatio
  • cunnilingus

Oral sex should always be done with a great deal of:

  • patience
  • personal hygiene
  • sensitivity
  • tenderness

It can be difficult for some people to do if you do not enjoy giving oral sex and this can cause tenseness and upset with your partner.

After reading the guide below, if you would like more tips and techniques you may like to try reading a book about the art of oral sex, such as “Kiss of Desire : A Guide to Oral Sex for Men and Women” by Kenneth Ray Stubbs.


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What is Cunnilingus and How is it Done?

Oral sex for women is called cunnilingus and most women find it very exciting. Cunnilingus is the fine art of making love to a vagina with your mouth and tongue. It is a delicate skill, requiring patience, practice and dedication. A strong slippery tongue can be used with precision on the clitoris without danger of causing any pain, unlike a finger. Whenever you touch a woman’s vagina make sure your finger is wet. You can lick it or moisten it with juices from inside her. Be sure, by all means, to wet it before you touch her clitoris because it does not secrete any juices of its own and is extremely sensitive and it can hurt if the area is too dry.

cunnalingus

Everyone must find how they like things done to them, and this is a very personal thing. You can start by:

  • foreplay
  • kissing your partner’s face and mouth
  • gradually working your way down her body
  • kissing and stroking her breasts and belly
  • kissing and stroking her inner thighs, the most tender spot.
  • lick it and kiss it with the tip of your tongue
  • flick your tongue in light kisses along the folds of the outer labia
  • smooth away the pubic hair, parting the labia gently with your fingers
  • move gradually inwards with your tongue, nuzzling, burrowing and thrusting your tongue into her vagina

Some women may like additional stimulation:

  • a finger or two into the vagina
  • a finger or two into the anus
  • breasts fondled
  • your finger inserted into her vagina while her clitoris is licked
  • stimulate erogenous zone at the roof of her vagina while having oral sex

If your partner does not like her clitoris to be stimulated directly at first, go carefully until she is fully aroused and reaches orgasm.

When your partner has achieved orgasm:

  • do not leave her alone
  • talk to her
  • stroke her body
  • caress her breasts
  • keep making love to her quietly until her orgasm has eased
  • she needs sensitivity from her lover

Oral sex can be one of the most exciting sexual experiences you can have:

  • take your time
  • practice often
  • pay attention to the needs and signals of your lover
  • enjoy yourself

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What About the Smell and Taste?

If the taste or smell bothers you ask her to wash first. Most people who enjoy cunnilingus agree that a clean vagina is a good, but acquired, taste.


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What About Cunnilingus During Menstruation?

Cunnilingus during menstruation is definitely a personal issue. If it is a concern to you do not do it. A tampon or a diaphragm may hold the flow of blood back. There is no particular danger in menstrual blood if your partner has no infections or HIV/AIDS. Orgasms during menstruation can help alleviate period cramps.


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What is Analingus and how is it done?

Analingus is putting your tongue to your partner’s anal opening. Absolute hygiene is required for this sexual practice. Make certain that your partner has just showered and is very clean. Place a piece of plastic wrap or a dam over the anus. At no time should your tongue come into contact with the anal surface itself.

Your partner should lie on his/her back with his/her legs in the air and his knees close to his/her shoulders as this spreads his/her buttocks apart, allowing you greater access to his anus. The nerve endings around the anus respond to licking around the area.

Analingus, combined with other activities such as vigorous penis stimulation with the hand is sometimes included in homosexual relationships.


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What is Fellatio and how is it done?

Oral sex for men is called fellatio. There are few tips to fellatio that can be given other than lots of practice and finding out what feels good to each other. The lips and the tongue are the major sources of stimulation and can be used in many ways to make your partner feel good. Most men find having their penis sucked, licked and kissed intensely exciting. Specific skills, techniques, and positions are not as important as your frame of mind and harmony with yourself and your surroundings.

fellatio

Occasionally men are worried they may be bitten. If the partner opens his/her mouth as wide as possible, closes his/her lips but not his/her teeth over the penis, there should be no problem with biting. Using all the muscles in the lips and tongue will mean that the teeth should not come into contact with the penis at all.

The best way is to become familiar with the activity in an easy, relaxed way and add on from there. Remember, the main thing is to have a good time.


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Can you Choke Doing Fellatio?

Some women find that they start to gag or choke during fellatio. Get in a position where you are more in control so this can be avoided.


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What are some Techniques?

The male genitals are highly sensitive to pain so be very gentle.

  • Try starting with kissing your partner’s face and mouth gradually proceeding to his genitals
  • To stimulate the penis with your lips and tongue lick all along the shaft, exploring all its shape, thickness, soft skin

Explore from the:

  • textured crown on top with its meatus or opening
  • frenum or frenulum, the sensitive place where the glans joins the shaft on the underside, the string-like portion coming down from the head to the ring of skin, called the corona
  • foreskin (if uncircumcised)
  • scrotum (testicles) with your lips and tongue tip

You can provide the highest degree of sensation to yourself and your partner by kneeling between his legs and approaching his penis from the bottom rather than from the side or the top.

One of the simplest and nicest actions is to move your mouth up and down on his penis. This is called sliding.

  • Take the head of the penis in your mouth and suck it, tickling it at the same time with your tongue
  • Move your lips up and down the shaft, sucking and pressing with your lips and tongue
  • Slide slow or fast taking as much penis into your mouth as you like
  • Slide down as far as you can drawing his penis out slowly while sucking on it

Another method is to:

  • Lick upwards from the testicles to the top of the penis, like a lollipop
  • To heighten his orgasm, place your thumb at the very base of the penis blocking the tube through which the semen spurts so the the semen cannot escape
  • At the same time suck vigorously on the head of his penis, so that your partner’s ejaculation of semen will last much longer and be very intense

Another method as you are giving fellatio is:

  • To begin a slow playful search around his bottom, a particularly sensitive area
  • This will enhance the sensations that your mouth and tongue and throat are giving his penis to feel a finger playing with his bottom
  • As your partner relaxes and allows you access, gently insert your gloved finger into his anus
  • You will be at the area of the prostate gland when your finger is inside completely, so massage this gland with your finger to produce delightful sensations for your partner
  • A mini-vibrator may be used instead

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What does 'Deep Throating' Mean?

When the penis goes down past your gag reflex area it is called ‘deep throating’. The best way to give fellatio is still with the lips and tongue, taking only as much as you can without gagging. You can overcome the natural tendency of the body to gag when a foreign object, such as a penis, is inserted down your throat by completely relaxing your throat at the moment the insertion is made. It is equally important that you maintain this relaxation during the entire ‘deep throating’. Once again practice is needed to perfect this act.

The average length of your oral cavity is 3-31/2 inches while the average Caucasian penis length is 5-51/2 inches. The biggest obstacle to taking all of your partner’s penis down your throat is the fact that there is a bend of almost 90 degrees behind your tongue leading down into your throat.

You will need to get into a position so that your mouth and throat lie almost in a straight line.

  • Lie on a bed so that your head is near the edge with your body sprawled across the bed so that your head is tipped sharply back
  • Let him put his penis down your throat and hold it still while you find the most comfortable way to proceed.
  • Take the penis as far as you can without choking and then take in a fraction at a time and slowly swallow it down and rise off just as slowly.
  • You must allow your throat to relax completely while your partner is thrusting his penis deeply down your throat, the penis will then go beyond the gag reflex and the semen ejaculates directly into your stomach.
  • To do this long enough for your partner to be completely satisfied is very difficult. You may be able to take your partner’s penis completely down your throat, but not be able to maintain proper relaxation of your throat to ejaculation.

Some affirmations may be needed to handle the act: ‘I won’t choke’; ‘I can take it out at any time’, etc. With practice you will be able to take his penis deeper into your throat for longer periods of time.


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What is the 69 position?

The ’69’ position is so called because the figures resemble a couple giving each other oral sex. This is an excellent way of arousing each other and some people feel that it is the best position in which to perform oral sex. Each partner lies with their head by each other’s genitals (most penises curve upwards towards the head, and that curve matches the curve of the throat in the 69 position). Some find it difficult to both perform and appreciate oral sex at the same time, especially when they are just about to reach orgasm, because of the intense pleasure. If this happens it may be best to break off from pleasuring your partner while you have an orgasm to avoid involuntarily biting your partner.


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Can I Use My Hands?

Many men like as much stimulation as possible and like the feel of a wet mouth and hands on the penis. This can prove very exciting for them.


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What about the Smell or Taste?

Nicely ask him to go take a shower if the smell is unpleasant to you. Basic hygiene is essential in any sexual practice and necessary in this age of prevalent STDs. There is no problem if your partner is healthy with no infection, besides, the mouth does have millions more germs than a clean penis.

Many women enjoy having their partner ejaculate into their mouth, however, some women find the idea of swallowing semen repugnant. It is up to the individual how you handle this issue. Many men feel that by swallowing their semen, you accept a part of themselves into your body to totally complete your lovemaking but many people don’t like the taste of semen. You have to work it out with each other.


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What Can I Do to make my Semen Taste Better?

  • alkaline-based foods such as meats and fish produce a bitter, fishy taste
  • dairy products contain a high bacterial putrefaction level which creates a foul taste
  • asparagus-laced semen is awful
  • acidic fruits and alcohol give a pleasant, sugary taste
  • chemically processed liquors will cause an extremely acidic taste, so drink high-quality, naturally fermented beers or sake

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What Does Semen Contain?

The caloric content of an average semen ejaculation is estimated to be approximately 15 calories. The average semen ejaculate contains:

  • aboutonia
  • ascorbic acid
  • blood-group antigens
  • calcium
  • chlorine
  • cholesterol
  • choline
  • citric acid
  • creatine
  • deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA)
  • fructose
  • glutathione
  • hyaluronidase
  • inositol
  • lactic acid
  • magnesium
  • nitrogen
  • phosphorus
  • potassium
  • purine
  • pyrimidine
  • pyruvic acid
  • sodium
  • sorbitol
  • spermidine
  • spermine
  • urea
  • uric acid
  • vitamin B12
  • zinc

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Are there any Special Sensitive Spots or Marks on the Penis?

Like everything every penis is unique and different with individually preferred sensitive areas. People like to be touched and fondled in different ways. Ask your partner how they would like you to touch them. Go by your partner’s reactions, sounds etc. and you will know if it is going okay.

You have to really put great enthusiasm into oral sex. Experiment with what each other enjoy most.


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How do you Perform Safer Oral Sex?

There is the risk of being infected with HIV in having unprotected oral sex with a man or a woman, however, it is not as risky as unprotected anal or vaginal sex. HIV is found in:

  • blood
  • breast milk
  • semen
  • vaginal fluids

The virus can transmitted through:

  • cuts
  • mucous membranes (anus, mouth, vagina)
  • openings
  • sores

on your body.

During oral sex, to avoid risk of HIV infection, it is important to:

  • keep semen and vaginal fluids out of your mouth
  • make sure that your mouth is healthy and you do not have bleeding gums, cuts, or mouth sores, as the presence of blood will increase your risk

To keep vaginal fluids out of your mouth when having oral sex with a woman, use:

  • a dental dam
  • a piece of plastic wrap as a barrier between the mouth and the vagina
  • an unlubricated condom cut into a latex square

To keep semen out of your mouth when having oral sex with a man, use:

  • an unlubricated, non-spermicidal condom
  • flavored condoms
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