Sexual Dysfunction

Male Sex Problems

Premature ejaculation or unintended ejaculation refers to ejaculating without any control. In heterosexual intercourse, men become sexually excited and reach orgasm faster than women. Often especially with new partners this can be the source of much misunderstanding as it is extremely frustrating for the partner who has not had the opportunity to reach orgasm.

Premature ejaculation may occur because of many factors, including:

  • anxiety in new relationships
  • being punished for masturbating as a child
  • being told as a child that sex is bad
  • fear of intimacy and close emotional involvement
  • fear that sexual technique is not good enough
  • guilt because of extramarital relationship
  • lack of experience
  • other psychological and physical problems

What Can Be Done

 

There are many products available to increase stamina and help with performance and erection problems. Below are a few clinically proven treatment options:

Vig-Rx:

A product that works well for many men is a natural pill formula called Vig-Rx. It is designed to increase penis size, improve sexual performance and help prevent premature ejaculation. Read Vig-Rx Manufacturer’s Information

 

Deferol™:

Another product on the market is Deferol™ which is a specific treatment for greater control of climax and longer lasting sexual activity. >More information about Deferol™

Viagra:

Viagra is a prescription drug used to treat male sexual function problems (erection problems). More informationOnline pharmacy

Steps to help the problem:

  • be up front about the problem with your partner – denying the problem or becoming embarrassed will only lead to a misunderstanding
  • change techniques or try using climax control methods
  • examining the cause of the problem is vital as understanding what is wrong often resolves the problem
  • partners can easily be taught techniques to improve control over ejaculation
  • talking about it often leads to a solution
  • Try reading a step-by-step book about methods to stop Premature Ejaculation. << Books for Premature Ejaculaiton >>

 

Several methods can be tried which may help delay ejaculation. Your partner will not feel neglected if you bring her to orgasm orally or manually either before or after intercourse.

Dealing with the problem together often increases intimacy with each other. The purpose of these methods is to learn to delay ejaculation for as long as possible. Men who can masturbate for 15-20 minutes without ejaculating are less likely to suffer from problems of premature ejaculation during intercourse.

The first three steps may be done alone, but the final steps require a partner
  • Masturbate with a dry hand, concentrate solely on the sensation in your penis. Stop immediately you feel you are about to ejaculate. Relax and then begin again after the sensation to ejaculate has passed. Continue doing this stop/start method for 15 minutes without ejaculating. At first it may be difficult to go the 15 minutes without ejeculating, however, perseverance is required and you will find after practising that you have to stop less often. When you feel confident that you can do this on repeated occasions, move on to the next step.
  • Masturbating with a lubricating jelly as this will increase the sensation in the penis and make it harder to delay ejaculation. Stop immediately you feel you are about to ejaculate. Relax and then begin again after the sensation to ejaculate has passed. Continue doing this stop/start method for 15 minutes without ejaculating. At first it may be difficult to go the 15 minutes without ejeculating, however, perseverance is required and you will find after practising that you have to stop less often. When you feel confident that you can do this on repeated occasions, move on to the next step.
  • Masturbate with a dry hand for 15 minutes before ejaculating. If you have genuinely mastered the above you should now have much more self control. Focus intently on the sensation in your penis. When you feel close to ejaculation do not stop but change rhythm or alter your stroke until the feeling to ejaculate fades. This may take a lot longer to master as you will have to experiment to find the method which allows you most control. When you feel confident that you can do this on repeated occasions, move on to the next step.
  • Lie on your back and get your partner to masturbate you with a dry hand while you concentrate on the sensations in your penis. Get your partner to stop immediately you feel you are about to ejaculate. Relax and then get your partner to begin again after the sensation to ejaculate has passed. Continue doing this stop/start method for 15 minutes without ejaculating. When you feel confident that you can do this on repeated occasions, move on to the next step.
  • Lie on your back and get your partner to masturbate you with a lubricant while you concentrate on the sensations in your penis. Get your partner to stop immediately you feel you are about to ejaculate. Relax and then get your partner to begin again after the sensation to ejaculate has passed. You will find ejaculation much more difficult to control Your partner may have to stop more often. When you feel confident that you can do this on repeated occasions, move on to the next step.
  • You are now ready to try the stop/startmethod with intercourse.The best position for delaying ejaculation is with the woman on top. It will take a lot of practise and co-operation between yourself and your partner to find the right balance. During intercourse, concentrate entirely on yourself and try to last for 15 minutes before ejaculating. Your partner should move very gently when you are inside her. Get your partner to stop immediately you feel you are about to ejaculate. Relax and then get your partner to begin again after the sensation to ejaculate has passed. Do not worry if you are unable to sustain for the 15 minutes. With each time you will gain more control until you think you are ready to move on to the next step.
  • Move on to other positions, building up to the position of the man on top which is the most difficult to delay ejaculation with.
Every time ejaculation is close the squeeze method can be applied to cause your erection to subside.
    • squeeze by gripping the penis firmly
    • press with the thumb on the Frenulum (underside of the penis where the head joins the shaft)
    • at the same time press on the opposite side of the penis with the forefinger curling the other fingers around the shaft of the penis
    • press very firmly on the penis without moving the hand (too light a touch can cause immediate premature ejaculation).

What To Do

  • Get your partner to masturbate you slowly and gently with a dry hand. Any time you get too close to ejaculation, get your partner to stop immediately and squeeze your penis. Relax and then get your partner to begin again after the sensation to ejaculate has passed. Continue doing this squeeze method for 15 minutes without ejaculating. When you feel confident that you can do this on repeated occasions, move on to the next step.
  • Get your partner to masturbate you slowly and gently using a lubricant. Any time you get too close to ejaculation, get your partner to stop immediately and squeeze your penis. Relax and then get your partner to begin again after the sensation to ejaculate has passed. Continue doing this squeeze method for 15 minutes without ejaculating. When you feel confident that you can do this on repeated occasions, move on to the next step.
  • Now you are ready to try the squeeze mehod for intercourse (not for thrusting). The best position for delaying ejaculation is with the woman on top. During intercourse, concentrate entirely on yourself and try to last for 15 minutes before ejaculating. Get your partner to sit on top of you, with your penis inside her. Neither of you should move. When you feel you are about to ejaculate your partner should move off you and immediately hold the penis in the squeeze grip. Be careful as this movement applies stimulation and can sometimes cause ejaculation. Relax and then get your partner to begin again after the sensation to ejaculate has passed. Do not worry if you are unable to sustain for the 15 minutes. With each time you will gain more control until you think you are ready to move on to the next step.
  • Get your partner to move gently while she sits on top of you with your penis inside her. When you feel you are about to ejaculate your partner should move off you and immediately hold the penis in the squeeze grip. Be careful as this movement applies stimulation and can sometimes cause ejaculation. Relax and then get your partner to begin again after the sensation to ejaculate has passed. Do not worry if you are unable to sustain for the 15 minutes. With each time you will gain more control until you think you are ready to move on to the next step.
  • Move on to other positions, building up to the position of the man on top which is the most difficult to delay ejaculation with.

Premature ejaculation (PE) where the man ejaculates too quickly when he has sex with a partner can be helped to some extent by masturbating. Information regarding this is detailed above. Men who can masturbate for 15-20 minutes without ejaculating are less likely to suffer from problems of premature ejaculation during intercourse. Try reading the book “Male Sexual Endurance: A Man’s Book About Ejaculatory Control” — by Robert W. Birch for more information.

Ejaculatory incompetence (retarded ejaculation) is the other common male sex problem sometimes helped by masturbation. With this condition an erection can be maintained for a long time during sex, but orgasm is not reached inside his partner.


What Can Be Done

    • learn to relax enough to let go
    • learn to be less uptight about sex
    • learn to masturbate with your partner

Should therre be a problem with doing this he can:

 

    • start by masturbating in the next room to his partner
    • after a week try to do it in the same room
    • eventually masturbate right beside her close enough to place his penis into her vagina
The condition known as ‘blue balls’ is caused by prolonged sexual excitement and heavy foreplay without ejaculation sometimes causes a cramping sensation in the testicles and/or urinary tract which is often quite painful.
 
  • What To Do
    • masturbation helps relieve cramps and reduces the discomfort
    • the sensation usually eases by itself in a short time

There are various causes for a man not being able to have an erection. These include:

    • alcohol and/or other drugs
    • certain medications
    • fatigue
    • medical problem
    • nervousness
    • performance anxiety
    • psychological problems

Nocturnal erections are usually an indication that there is not a physical cause for the impotence. The man may find that talking with his partner about his anxiety helps to improve the situation

Female Sex Problems

Dispareunia (uncomfortable or painful sexual intercourse) may be caused by several factors:

  • allergic reactions to contraceptive products, lubricants, or other feminine hygiene products
  • pain deep in the pelvic area during intercourse may be caused by an infection or other medical problem
  • pain due to an unstretched hymen may be experienced during the first few times she has intercourse
  • penetration may cause the infection to flare up
  • vaginal infections or irritations may make penetration painful
  • Vaginismus

If pain during intercourse persistently recurs, see your doctor, family planning clinic or gynecologist.

Insufficient lubrication of the vagina may cause pain and discomfort and is usually caused by:

  • lack of arousal
  • nervousness

Lubrication of the vagina is also important in making sexual intercourse fully pleasurable. A spermicidal or water-based lubricant is the best method of lubrication,especially if you are using condoms. Never use oil-based lubricants as they break down latex. Browse an online Sexual Health store for lubricants.

The condition of Vaginismus causes strong, involuntary contractions of the vaginal muscles, specifically of the outer third of the vagina. This has been known to make penetration sharply painful and may be an unconscious defense against an uncomfortable sexual situation. Previous unwanted sexual experiences, including rape, may result in vaginismus. In this case see your health care professionals or psychotherapists who may be able to suggest treatments and techniques to help with the problem of painful penetration. A good book that may be of help is Private Pain: It’s About Life, Not Just Sex … Understanding Vaginismus & Dyspareunia” by Ditza Katz and Ross Lynn Tabisel. For more information click here.

If you:

e.g., professional help may be necessary.

Your health professional or family planning clinic will be able to put you in contact with a psychologist dealing with such issues and local support groups and activities available.

Women do report different sensations with orgasm according to whether they are:

  • being penetrated (small minority of women, around 20% who orgasmed with a penis inside the vagina, describe the experience as being less intense than with masturbation)
  • being masturbated (more pleasurably acute experience, blissful rushing sensation, multiple contractions of the surrounding tissue)

Masters and Johnson reported ‘stronger contraction spasms and higher rates of heartbeat during orgasm without intercourse, and especially during masturbation’. Some women stated they had their best orgasms when masturbating alone. A book that might be of interest here is one called “Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm” by Kim Cattrall and Mark Levinson. More information.

A simultaneous orgasm, when both partners come together during penetration offers the least in terms of sensual awareness. The reason for this is that if both parties are focused on their own experience the sensation of the partner’s orgasm is largely lost. For a woman, simultaneous orgasm is often followed by a feeling of disorientation, and a disappointment that lovemaking has come to an end.

Feeling whole and loved and emotionally satisfied are important aspects of a good sexual relationship, but these feelings can be experienced whether orgasm takes place during intercourse or not. What is important is that women should experience regular masturbation orgasms.

Orgasm:

  • relieves tension
  • recharges the body
  • revitalizes the mind
  • leaves the woman feeling sparkling and whole
  • represents the peak of sexual fulfillment and can be a powerful expression of love when shared with a partner

Many women are bothered by the idea that there may be two types of orgasm, vaginal and clitoral. Researchers into sexual response have been much concerned with the categorization of the female orgasm since Freud’s time as to whether there are really two types of orgasm.

Freud suggested there were two types of orgasm. He said, ‘the orgasm experienced through clitoral stimulation was the precursor of a deeper, more satisfying orgasm experienced in the vagina during penetration by the penis’. According to him, the vaginal orgasm was a ‘true, mature’ sexual response, while the clitoral orgasm was its immature inferior.

Kinsey’s view of the female orgasm was that ‘there was only one type of orgasm, that it was triggered by clitoral stimulation and involved contractions of all parts of the female body, including the vagina’. He could not distinguish a second type of orgasm that centered solely on the vagina, and he refuted Freud’s distinction between ‘mature’ and ‘immature’ orgasms. Subsequent clinical evidence has proved conclusively that Kinsey was right.

Sexologists now generally agreed that an orgasm is an orgasm. Researcher Helen Kaplan has come to this conclusion: ‘Regardless of how friction is applied to the clitoris, i.e. by the tongue, by the woman’s finger or her partner’s, by a vibrator, or by coitus (intercourse), female orgasm is probably and now always evoked by clitoral stimulation. However, it is always expressed by circumvaginal muscle discharge.

  • multiple orgasms are those that are experienced one directly after another
  • sequential orgasms are those with a gap of a few minutes between each one
  • true multiple orgasm is extremely rare, although many women are capable of sequential orgasm

About 90 per cent of women feel completely satisfied with a single orgasm. In many women the clitoris remains hypersensitive, and further stimulation is uncomfortable and can even prove painful.

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